Divorce Navigator Gifts

New Improved Child Support Agency

In the Guru District

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."

This is forever... till death do us part...

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

Can we talk about our attorney-client relationship?

'When I said I would move mountains for you, it was just a figure of speech!'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"