Divorce Dynamics Explorer Gifts

"You're now WELCOME to half my portfolio, Bill."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

He wanted a different one.

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"When I take your arm Charlene, there's no need to flex."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'Today is my day to baby sit.'

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."