Divorce Coach Gifts

"I'm hoping to buy back everything I lost in the divorce at the garage sale she's having."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

Joint Ventures!

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

"So halfway through the divorce proceedings, I find out Henry is a warlock."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"He snores from October to May!"

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

'Busting balls since 1983.'

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

"You're both miserable wretches, but I suppose that's beside the point."

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'