Divinely Inclined Gifts

"It doesn't pay to jump up and down with rage, up here."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

"Just my luck."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

Devil worried because he feels good

"And God called the light day."

Yahweh/Your Way

"I'm sending you to someone who's less squeamish."

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

"Sit still why I explain why exercise is important."

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"What I'll miss most is his indefatigable optimism."

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

'And tomorrow. . . the darkness will pass and all will be bathed in a celestial light that will unify and transform mankind. . .'

'New Charismatic'

"Well, you asked for a sign!"

God throwing a lifebelt.

Heaven - "You are here" sign.

'Hang on, we might finally be getting his feedback on our new product proposal.'

"I feel like a hypocrite writing a report on the Green Revolution. My trust fund portfolio has oil, mining, and tobacco stocks."

"No way, you guys are angels? I have a GREAT idea for a miracle."

"My post only got one like, but it is from God."

'Drawbridge ahead'