Divine Endorsement Enthusiast Gifts

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

Night-time halo

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"OMG, LOL!"

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

'We are gathered here...'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Just my luck."

God creating the galaxy.

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'Actually, we were hoping for a less high-maintenance God.'

God changes His will.

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

Should I get these copyrighted, or is that covered by "Thou shalt not steal"? (Published previously on Dec. 10, 2002.)

'Great sermon, Reverend! -- If I ever want to find out more about sin, I sure know who to come to!'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"For the last time- I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons."

"I'm taking it all with me. I created everything, and it's mine."

'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'

Smite Golfer or Cow?

"Why corona? I thought they were getting a bit too cocky."

"Not too short, or people won't know I'm God."

Jesus is coming. Look busy.

The Gods discussing humans as a product.

'The floods, the pestilence, the plagues...don't you think you could find more constructive ways to express your wrath?'

Angels waiting at baggage reclaim for their harps.

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in T.V. commercials!'

'...Give me a sign.'

'New Charismatic'

Guardian Angel and Ward Angel

"Uh-oh. Get ready for another tribulation. God's raging on social media again."

God throwing a lifebelt.