Divine Dialer Pillows

'Father, I think the Lord has forsaken me, all I get is his voicemail.'

Monk has divine reception

Local News in Heaven

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Old-fashioned computer

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

You are everywhere.

Is this Seat Taken?

'Is this a 'cash for clunkers' deal?'

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

You Have 1 New Messages

Ohm sweet Ohm

Angel book with feather falling out of it

"I'm a little disappointed you don't actually talk the same as in the KJV Bible."

'Does it come with any Apps'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"All of my manifestations are currently busy however your prayer is important to me so please..."

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"Pretty good, but I'll bet you can't hit him again."

"A spot near the almighty!"

'You are here.'

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"Really looks like they could use a miracle about now sir!"

Never fails. Stay in all week, not one call. Step out for an hour to preach...

When God works online.

"Heaven is currently unattended, if you wish to leave your prayers at the sound of the tone...they will be answered."