Divine Cyclist Gifts

Give Way To Cyclists

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Beware of God"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

Golfing with God.

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

A angel wearing a helmet poised to throw a football down from heaven.

The Pope's bags getting carried by an angel.

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

'I knew I should've used the fluorescent golf balls.'

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

A leap of faith.

'What you did was not only 'wrong' - it was 'wrongedy-wrong-wrong!''

"Wow! I guess you CAN 'take it with you', after all!"

Heaven - under new management.

Devil Puppeteer