Divination Delights Pillows

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Your future looks charming.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

Hog Futures

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

Hellbillies.

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Crystal Ball Plug

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Big Medium

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary