Divination Delights Gifts

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Your future looks charming.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I know, boy—I miss the smoked salmon at Zabar's, too."

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

Hellbillies.

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

Hog Futures

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

Crystal Ball Plug

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Big Medium

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

First Annual Psychic Convention

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."