Divination Enthusiasts Gifts

"And that wraps it up for today's headlines. For a preview of what's happening tomorrow, here's Cassandra..."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'You can't come in here with that.'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'Your future looks charming.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Psychic diving competition.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Our ultrasound equipment is not working, so we've brought in famed psychic Jennifer Armstrong to give us a vision of the fetus.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

Hog Futures

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

The end is near.

Crystal Ball Plug

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

Big Medium

First Annual Psychic Convention