Divination Devotees Gifts

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'You can't come in here with that.'

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'Your future looks charming.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

Hog Futures

Crystal Ball Plug

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Big Medium

'I may charge a lot but you get much more through me. I'm a psychic large.'

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

'Bring back my crystal ball!'

Mystic Writes 2014 Diary

'Reeta can tell your fortune from your bank statements.'

"Now...this piece of paper will reveal even more."

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

"You will dance on your enemy's grave."

"Sometimes I like to think back and reminisce about tomorrow."

After years of pointless therapy, Morris took up speleology and finally found himself.

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"