Divination Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"And that wraps it up for today's headlines. For a preview of what's happening tomorrow, here's Cassandra..."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'Your future looks charming.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Psychic diving competition.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

Crystal Ball Plug

Hog Futures

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Big Medium

"It's going to snow! Is that it?"