Divination T-Shirts

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

Will explain the Fed's next move - $25.

'Sorry, I don't do financial advice.'

"You will fall backward. But eventually you will spring ahead."

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

'I remember when tea leaves were the state of the art method of determining your inventory needs.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'We'll start with the minutes of next year's AGM.'

"Sometimes the future is bright, sometimes it's dark - it's all cyclical."

'Shall we get started - You haven't got all day.'

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

Fortunes. . .$20, Impressions. . .$10, Clenches. . . $5, Wild Guess. . . $2.

"The algorithms that control your future say things are looking good. . ."

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

'I switched from tarot cards to a computer years ago.'

"A stranger is about to come into your life!"

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'You're going on a journey.' - 'Will I find a place to park?'

Department of Futures: Hindsight and Foresight.

'Do you see a tall, dark formation of shale oil?'

"Your husband will meet a violent end."

Big Medium

"On second thoughts... it might be better if you paid in advance."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

Next week's hindsight today - The future is now next week.

"Do you really want to know?"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"Your fortune will be fifty pounds lighter when you leave this room."

"I get the sense there's some large body of water you're longing to return to - not a lake, maybe a sea? Is it an ocean?"

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

"Now, right over here there's going to be some congestion, so get off I-95 and take the Hutchinson River Parkway."