Divination Lover Pillows

Madame Lucille Fortune Teller. "I predict the future."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'You can't come in here with that.'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'Your future looks charming.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Psychic diving competition.

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'Avoid the Christmas rush, drink now.

"Your mother says 'wear a bra'."

They say animals have the sixth sense and the talent to look into the future...

'We will conduct the background check. Our fortune, Madame Zula, will conduct a complimentary future check.'

Hog Futures

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

Crystal Ball Plug

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

Big Medium

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"I'll have to cance your appointment for next Friday. I'm going to be sick in bed with the flu."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'