Distracted Driver Gifts

"A crow should always listen for oncoming vehicles and be prepared to move..."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

How to correctly estimate cooking time

Turmoil change.

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

Car wash / Mouth wash

Writers' Compensation

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

"The notion that *CRUNCH* architectural *CRUNCH CRUNCH* forms can *CRUNCH* express anything may *CRUNCH* seem difficult *CRUNCH* to *CRUNCH CRUNCH* grasp at *CRUNCH* all,"

'There's that funny squealing again - I think it's coming from your side.'

Sudoku. Oh, no!

"Err...When I said straight over at the round-about..."

"You want my undivided attention? I don't think it exists."

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

Mysteries of Life

Texting kills

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

"Tonight's our night. Try not to think about the fed."

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."

"I heard you have a really bad toothache." "Meh. Not anymore." "‘Meh’?" "I got bored of that, so I just moved on." "Amazing." "‘Mindless over matter’" "Bored of this phone."

"I think I'm getting road rage."

"It's been over two weeks, and I'm starting to get concerned. Normally, when the committee jumps down a rabbit hole, they're back in a few hours."

'I think he wants you to be quiet!'

"Dad, how can you teach me how to drive...if you can't even remember that the brakes are on this side?"

The teacher was in favour of comic relief... but, not in class time!'

'Will you stop believing all those rumor about driver's tests?! I'm sure the examiner is perfectly nice and pleasant.'

Andrew's own nose cuts him off just to spite his face.

'Jeez, Rex, leave it alone. How do you ever get anything done?'

Dartford Crossing, Pay in Advance for your Inevitable Queue.

Gregor metamorphosed into a giant cockroach and he hasn't even noticed yet.

"For a laser technician, you're not very focused."

Stop at the next chemist please, I've run out of tranquilizers.