Distraction-free Driver Gifts

Texting kills

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Turmoil change.

'Doesn't it feel good to be taking care of our planet?'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

Bio Fuels.

"It's got an incredible range for an E.V."

"Tesla's founder Elon Musk launched his spacex rocket today with a successful pinpoint return to earth. . . General motors said it would rebuild its plant and start again from scratch."

"Om, Ah, Om, Sajra, Guru, Padma, Onions, Peppers, Cheese, Wine, Pasta, Milk, Loo Roll..."

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

"You want my undivided attention? I don't think it exists."

EPA Gas Mileage Tests

"No, I don't have one that runs on Ramen Noodles."

Easily fooled, Andy is once again picked off at first base.

Fake Muse

Recombinant DNA Research Lab: 'I bought a hybrid car.'

I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'It's a hybrid.'

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'

Range Anxiety

"I coulda been killed had this not deployed. Thank god for my passenger's side handbag!

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

'This little baby runs on solar, electric power, hydrogen, bio-fuel...practically anything but gas!'

"My car runs part of the time on an alternative energy source."

"It's been over two weeks, and I'm starting to get concerned. Normally, when the committee jumps down a rabbit hole, they're back in a few hours."

'I pulled you over because you were driving suspiciously.'

'I think he wants you to be quiet!'

The Institute of Time Mismanagement Asks: 'Are You Procrastinating to Your Full Potential?'

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

'Jeez, Rex, leave it alone. How do you ever get anything done?'

Gregor metamorphosed into a giant cockroach and he hasn't even noticed yet.

Warning signs - for deer and cars.

If you don't stop texting and driving, I'm pulling myself over and shutting myself off. Autocorrect.

'I'm 45, drive a hybrid, have a wife and two kids, change my own oil, and have had a vasectomy. What wine am I supposed to like?'