Distilling Gifts

A moonshiner waits for his martini.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Need Cash for Alcohol Research.

Bottle Distillery

"He was a mainstay of the economy. Now two brewries and a whiskey distillery are on short time and one tobacco wholesaler has gone completely bankrupt."

A Good Batch.

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

Waking Up With Rooster.

The hour of justice

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

Do you like my bling?

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

"You're late."

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

'Either I've got bad news for you or my watch has stopped...'

The Angel's Share

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

New Watchdog.

Do' you have the time?'

'I can't tag him, he keeps his watches there.'

Spiv

'Sir, we've drilled so deep this time that we've reached Arab oil.'

'The other one, Vince! Grab the other one! He's got a Rolex!'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Dickens' Counterfeit Rolex.

Common stock, Preferred stock, Private stock.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

Pawnshop: Genuine Fake Watches.