Distiller Gifts

A moonshiner waits for his martini.

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

A Good Batch.

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

'You're back for a refill? My, you're such a working dog.'

Bottle Distillery

The Angel's Share

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

The DaVinci Code

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Chiller Theatre

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

The Philip Marlow family

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Play 'Misty' for me."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

'In the interests of full disclosure, federal law now requires me to inform you that I own shares in the winery whose product I am serving this evening.'

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

Do you like my bling?

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Heeeere's your contractor. Sorry I'm three weeks late, but better late than never, I always say."

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

Janet Leigh