Distance Swimmer Gifts

'This is the bit where we are supposed to say something ironic or funny.'

On holiday.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Pool attached to child's bed.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'He lives for his holidays.'

Bring your own inflatable.

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"Marco ..."

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

Sunbathers.

"They're so like us."

"Shake! Good Dog."

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Privates Beach"

Fish snorkling above water.