Distance Swimmer T-Shirts

'This is the bit where we are supposed to say something ironic or funny.'

On holiday.

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

Pool attached to child's bed.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

'He lives for his holidays.'

Bring your own inflatable.

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"All I did this summer was go fishing, camping, bike riding, swimming, boating, and go the movies, carnivals, fairs, concerts and games. I'm bored."

Man Fishing: Pulling sign attached to hook from fish out of water: Gone Swimmin'

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

Sunbathers.

"Shake! Good Dog."

Bathing-men attend to women on the french coast

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"They're so like us."

"Marco ..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Holy cow, Kenny, look at the size of that thing! It's huge, I tell ya'! And the teeth! The teeth!"

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

"Privates Beach"

Fish snorkling above water.