Dish Duty Devotee Pillows

'My dishwasher broke down - he's in hospital with fatigue'.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"A votre sante!"

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"Just a drop."

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Is everything ok with your Emile?"