Dish Duty Delight Pillows

"I'm helping Mom wash the dishes."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

Chocs away.

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

'Do you have eczema?' 'No, only what's on the menu.'

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

Active Yogurt Culture

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

Farmer Pickles Present.

"Collapsed Udder Syndrome?"

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."

'Today's special is baseball stew, why here it comes now!'

"Table for two and a half?"

"Would you like me to change it for something else, Sir?"