Dish Duty Devotee T-Shirts

'My dishwasher broke down - he's in hospital with fatigue'.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"The waiter said he wouldn't recommend the octopus, so what do you order? The octopus."

'How would you like your toast?'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"A votre sante!"

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"Is everything ok with your Emile?"

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

You know, Lars, you really should ask the waiter for a whine list. If it weren't for the fact that I can see the spelling in your word balloon, that insult would have gone right over my head.

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Just a drop."

A train's dining car is a diner.

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."