Discipline Humor Pillows

'My teacher has a good memory. She remembers what a rotten kid you were.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Teacher's pet dog

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

Corporate Lawyers

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

Chère Maman

A signaller directing pallbearers

Steadman - The Early Years.

"Along with 'Antimatter,' and 'Dark Matter,' we've recently discovered the existence of 'Doesn't Matter,' which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever."

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

Oh, good - Looks like the doctor's in.

The Perpetual Motion (just a figure of speech) Institute.

The Jim Carrey of fish is a real cutup in shool!

'Ann, you're the best graduate student I have, so I'm going to blame some faulty research on you.'

The Swiss Alp 44 Million Years Ago

Drama class

"It seems that I cannot look them in the eye without prompting confrontation..." "What are you lookin' at?"

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

"Tech support? I want to get my grades encrypted."

"Why can I only cross 'right' or 'wrong'? What about 'I don't care', 'I don't give a damn' or 'How should I know'?"

'But I digress.'

Calculator Jokes

"Here's my report card. . . I'll be staying with friends for a few days!"

"It's amazing how much Junior has changed after only a few weeks away at college..."

"How do I keep my kids in line? I threaten to rent out the space under their beds to monsters."