Disciplinary Humor Fan Pillows

'I don't think your taking this seriously boy.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

The Thinker?

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

How men process questions.

'And in conclusion.'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'