Disaster Talker Gifts

First Katrina, then oil spills. What's next, a plague of locusts?

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

COVID-19 Stops Economy

Experts through the ages.

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Coronavirus: People Dying/People Losing Money

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

Suez Canal Curse

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Hurricane damage to trees

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

"Speechmaking during a pandemic can be unnerving.. just pretend there's an audience!"

Sinking Oil Tanker

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

'To be honest, I don't think the garden does need it anymore.'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Unusual weather for June'

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'Disaster!' they said. 'Great business opportunity,' I replied.

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

Flood Rescues