Disagreements Gifts

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

Very sorry

'Your fee is causing us more mental anguish than the accident.'

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

"Of course I mind, but it's the only way I get to see him"

"Can't they compromise and sell candy apples?"

"Is there anything else I can do wrong for you?"

"S this is how you settle out of court."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

"Don't worry about him. It's all a bluff."

'The fact is, we can't seem to agree about ANYTHING!' 'Rubbish!'

"This is getting ugly, she's demanding a return of the kidney she donated to you back in '88."

"May I assume you want separate checks?"

"I'll leave, Margaret, but I won't get lost."

'I should have known better than to tell him to stand in the corner.'

'I hate it when they agree to disagree.'

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'There's too much Mahler in our marriage. We need some Mozart!'

'You're totally unreasonable.'

'And this is for couples who, whilst not actively seeking divorce, have agreed to keep apart by two chevrons.'

'We'll be putting you in the 'crabby neighbor', demographic.'

"My funny valentine is no longer funny ha-ha."

"You know the 'they' you keep blaming for your business problems? Their attorneys are here."

"Any chance of hanging around to watch them fight over the will?"

"Honey, I just spent all our real money buying pretend-money." "Siri, search divorce lawyers in my area."

"You're always too busy nowadays."