Disaffected Voter Gifts

Can't Vote/Why Vote?

At This Restaurant, There Are Only Two Dishes on the Menu and They Both Suck

'Why should I vote for a two-bit lame-brained nobody, when i could vote for a two-bit lamb-brained somebody with 'name recognition'?'

Can't Vote/Why Vote?

Vote Grinkley! Now you see him, now you don't.

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

VOTE!, 'If elected, I'll sponsor legislation for a $10 billion study of Government hypocrisy!'

The Establishment Election

"Is it possible to put in in a coma until after the election?"

On - Undecided - Off switch

"Oh, no, silly man - there's no such place as Hades...there is, however, a place where you spend the rest of eternity listening to politics."

Two uses for ten minutes in America.

Warning! All Manifestos May Contain Traces of Truth.

"Brilliant Angela, that will get them out to vote."

"...and which of the election candidates do you dislike the least?"

The longest Tuesday ever...

"We may need a clearer message."

'I hate it when people vote with their feet'

"Every election...it's the same thing. They mail me these dumb absentee ballots."

DOOM! (WHICHEVER ONE WINS)

"I think he's running as an independent."

"And if elected, I promise to do everything in my power to get re-elected."

"As your new MP I promise to always tell you the truth. My campaign was a tissue of lies."

EXIT POLLS, 14TH PRECINCT, 'May I ask who you voted for, sir?', 'Please! -- I'm trying to forget!'

'Sure, I got a hobby -- punching out pollsters.'

Ballot Box

'There goes an honest politician -- his only campaign promises are 'death and taxes.''

'Is it my imagination, or was there once a time when we at least pretended to give a rat's patootie?'

Election 'Dunvotin'

"Not so much a 'Don't know' more a 'Couldn't Care Less'."

'I'm not checking any political sites, or following any politicians on twitter. I'm going liarless.'

'Sure, I worry about non-voters. I worry that someday they may vote!'

Democratic Debate

Re-elect Senator Yomp...NOBODY out porkbarrels me!

"So it's agreed. I'll keep saying what you want to hear and you'll keep voting for me."