Dirt Warrior Gifts

Cornered

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Glastonbury. After.

U of Debt

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"Hoora! I made it through another day!"

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

Internet Cafe.

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

Student Debt

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

OH NO - Here come the wet-wipes..!!!

'Now that's what I call soil conservation.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

How Gary got his groove back.

"The lunch, grab the lunch!"

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

Clean air.

The sixth college sense. 'I see debt people.'

"Each year the Kayaks made their way upstream."

Monitor Reads: Now You've Done It! AAIIIIEEE...

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