Dirt Decoration Enthusiast Gifts

Rally dust decorating $100 - Hand wash $5

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Ironing day.

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

"I know it is of this earth...."

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

How Gary got his groove back.

User friendly soil.

Spring cleaning.

Super glue hoovering

"Your sweaters go in the drawer, your shoes go on the shelf, and you go in this nifty cubby here."

"My mom used to be an excellent housekeeper, but I put a stop to that."

"Okay dad, I'll clean my room. . . you didn't have to make a federal case out of it!"

"Oh no. We're victims of the 'Tidy Intruder'."

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

"Good afternoon. Feng-shui consultation bureau."

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

'We were mud wrestling.'

"This de-cluttering has gone too far dear."