Dirge Devotee T-Shirts

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

It's about self-control. "'No Thyself".

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

Old-fashioned computer

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

'What a control freak!'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"There's nothing like a dame!"

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

"I try to get a head start on them."

Ohm sweet Ohm

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

Scientific Research: '...The motto of science is to expect the unexpected...now be quiet. I'm trying to work.'

"I like your slavish attention to detail."

'It's not bad enough that he explains everything... He even explains his explanations.'

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

A man working on a model airplane

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'

'I'm sorry to say that one among you is not pulling his weight... I don't think it's necessary to name names.'

That's what I call attention to detail!

Martin Scorsese.

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"Bravo, Paul. You've done more for the back of my head than I ever dreamed possible."