Dirge Devotee Gifts

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

Old-fashioned computer

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

'What a control freak!'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"There's nothing like a dame!"

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

"I try to get a head start on them."

Ohm sweet Ohm

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

Man to lady: 'Prisons are overcrowded, so we're seeing more sentences of timeout instead.'

"I like your slavish attention to detail."

'It's not bad enough that he explains everything... He even explains his explanations.'

Scientific Research: '...The motto of science is to expect the unexpected...now be quiet. I'm trying to work.'

A man working on a model airplane

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

'Boys will be boys, but principals will also be principals!'

'I'm sorry to say that one among you is not pulling his weight... I don't think it's necessary to name names.'

That's what I call attention to detail!

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"Never, NEVER sit on top of the truck."

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