Direction Chuckler Pillows

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

'Fancy a swift half?'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

Keyboard in Heaven

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"No, Ted, there's no way I'm going to put up with you working at home. You're a demolition man!"

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Bless you!'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

"I just talked to Grunzman on the phone when he called in sick...I fear he really has got something very, very highly contagious!"

What your acoustic guitar says about you

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

Merry Christmas

"Sad, isn't it? And he won't admit he has a problem."

Father Parrot: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'