Diplomatic Genius Gifts

John is a moderating influence so we like to filter our proposals through his head

"Nation-building never works."

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

"National security adviser"

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Look! Other people. We'll have to develop a foreign policy!"

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"What? You like political cartoons??! You won't get a visa!"

'This is just a test. I repeat, this is just a test. But then - maybe not!'

"International travel accessories, 2025 Passport covers Hey, isn’t Canada a lovely country? Even if I'm from the US Luggage tags Dear World, We are very sorry about how the U.S. is acting lately. Phrasebook I did not vote for him. Yo no voté por él. The tariffs are really stupid. Los aranceles son realmente estúpidas. We don’t really want to invade your country. Realmente no queremos invadir su país."

'Here, William, take this - the G8 has chosen you to nip over for a one-to-one with Assad...'

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

Middle East Peace Process.

Pawn Stars

The Arab Autumn

"There's more than one way to get your message across, but violence isn't one..."

Impeachment: the Moral High Ground Isn't as High as It Used to Be

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

Munich Security Conference

"Perhaps we'd be more likely to reach an agreement if the British delegate would stop shouting 'Deal or no deal' all the time."

'Secretary Fish and General Grant Amused at the English Outcry over the Alabama Claims'

"Hello!... Putin..."

Nato

John Kerry

Adios "Mexico"!

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

Love and hate

What's a twelve-letter phrase for "modify anger"? "Temper temper"!

'It's just for a trial period - until I learn to trust my own judgement.'

Thank You For Not Giving Me Your Views About Brexit

All I said was, thanks to Sadie, I know what's wrong with the Middle East. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. It's the birthplace of civilization. It's the dysfunctional family home from whence we all came. It's ruled by a stubborn and cranky old know-it-all mother with a superiority complex. She never changes, which is why the kids, once they came of age, got the heck outta there and only come by once in a while to referee her arguments with dad and make sure they're still in her will ... and for

"What about me?"