Diplomatic Guru Gifts

First cruise ship arrives in Cuba from the USA in more than 50 years.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

Create some buzz!

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Presentation skills.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

The Thinker. The Listener

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"Damn it, name a figure, name a figure."

'My market doesn't understand me.'

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"I can't believe you made it past our bitch receptionist."

There's a real disconnect going on here.

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"I told you never to call me here."

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

"I think it’s time we started resenting other people."

The effectiveness of e-mails

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"Hitler Stalin pact in the Arabian jackal desert"

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

Resume Consultant. To avoid giving anybody the wrong idea, you should stop calling yourself a "hands-on" manager.

A good leader has effective conflict resolution strategies in place.

"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."

John Kerry

As soon as we invent writing, we should put up a "Danger! Tar Pit!" sign here.

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

Adios "Mexico"!

'Nobody turned up to the 'effective communications' seminar...they didn't get our memo.'