Communication Genius Gifts

"Let's stop this before we both say a lot of things we mean."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Twitter censorship

'Let us pray...'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'How fast can you hype?'

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'My market doesn't understand me.'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

"I can't believe you made it past our bitch receptionist."

The Communicator

"That's his answer to everything!"

There's a real disconnect going on here.

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.