Dinner Show Enthusiast T-Shirts

Benihana style of cooking.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You do like octopus?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

Romantic Violinist.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'Who gets the decaf?'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.