Dinner Theater Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Sorry, that's not my table."

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

"The chef's speciality, sir? Well, he's a dab hand at juggling with meat balls and as for fish fingers..."

"You do like octopus?"

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

Romantic Violinist.

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Benihana style of cooking.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Choice hellhole

'Yeah, my phone folds out into a TV tray.'

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

'I'm calling this a plate and I already have service for six. Six more and I can invent the dinner party.'

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"The usual."