Dinner Preparation Expert T-Shirts

'First, let me start by saying 'Making Ice' is really not helping with dinner.'

Come dine with me!

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

In Desperate Straits.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Cereal Tasting.

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'I hope you agree, sir. They don't come any fresher than this!'

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

Mediterranean Martini

'It's an acquired taste!'

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

Paul Bocuse caricature

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

'A sandwich?'

'It's a project to develop a stamp mucilage that tastes like beef stew.. it's funded by Andy Rooney.'

"Look, gourmet popcorn! Harold, our son is a gourmet!"

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'Head cheese? Swedish sausage? Limberger cheese? . . . Try Albania!'

'Are the shellfish safe?'-'Certainly, sir- we keep them locked up in the kitchen.'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

Casino. All you can eat buffet. Now here's a game where I can beat the house!

'I'd always been told they found the truffles by smell.'