Dinner Preparation Expert T-Shirts

'First, let me start by saying 'Making Ice' is really not helping with dinner.'

Come dine with me!

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

In Desperate Straits.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Cereal Tasting.

"You're looking gorgeous tonight darling..."

'I hope you agree, sir. They don't come any fresher than this!'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

Mediterranean Martini

"Oh, put a cork in it...the bottle, you, the wine steward."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

'It's an acquired taste!'

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

'A sandwich?'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"Look, gourmet popcorn! Harold, our son is a gourmet!"

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

'It's been a few hundred years, gentlemen... I think it's finally time to admit that forks are better.'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

Trick questions...

'I'd always been told they found the truffles by smell.'

'Head cheese? Swedish sausage? Limberger cheese? . . . Try Albania!'

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)