Dinner Host Chuckle Chaser Gifts

Failed holiday idea: Utinsils.

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

When clowns are hunting.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

A great new year (for cartoonists).

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

"What do you mean, where's your order? Can't you see we're just starting to really cook?"

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

'Finally, a job that makes other people happy from laughing at you and you love it.'

'The chef says, 'Thank your the compliment on the breast of the chicken and he would like to compliment you on the breast of YOUR chicken'.'

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

"Knife...fork..."

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Box of Tissues

'Not only do you get out of cooking tonight, but you found a place with a lazy chef too.'

'Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?'

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'

Martial arts man chops bricks for workmen

"Do you mind if I chase a few practice balls first?"

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'You've no need to worry wile we're out - he wont let anyone come near the place.'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

COMEDY CLUB - Knock, knock - Who's There?