Dinner Guest Gifts

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

"Well, you howler monkeys sure know how to attract a waiter's attention..."

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"Gesundheit!"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

'Stove Top Stuffing! My favourite!'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"A little lamb please."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."