Dinner Guest Gifts

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

"Well, you howler monkeys sure know how to attract a waiter's attention..."

Grace For Flies

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"How fresh is the calamari?"

Party time.

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Horn of Leftovers

"Gesundheit!"

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'There's something hauntingly familiar about the bouquet.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

'I'll be conducting Mahler 3 as the guests arrive.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"A little lamb please."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'This soufle is hard.' - 'No it isn't, your teeth are soft.'

"Here's to a great post-meal nap."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'