Whimsical Dinner Guest Gifts

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"The usual."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'You wished to see the house red?'

Help yourself

"...and you!? Did you like yours?"

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"Knife...fork..."

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'We're very on-the-hoof, of the moment kind of people - would it be possible to dine off Styrofoam?'

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Your dinner is in the coven.

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'George will be dining with us via Skype.'

'Could I have a look at your childrens menu? It's only my inner child that's hungry!'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

Annoying Dinner Guests Dining Soc.

"Everything on the menu is locally sourced."

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

Sunday Roast.

'...and thank you for not outstaying your welcome.'