Dinner Date Disaster Survivor Pillows

"Would it be awfully rude if I told you how much you were boring me right now?"

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Oh, how sweet of you."

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

The Bare Minimum

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

"Hold that afterthought!"

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'It was disgusting, Sheila...Our first date, and he pulls out his endpin!'

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

'Let me just run through the offside rule.'

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"When you said on your profile you are 'loyal and affectionate' I expected something a little different."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'No, everything is not all right. My date ran out without leaving money to pay the bill!'

'It's not a romantic touch, it's a power cut.'

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

Sneezing dragon.

'Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me the wonderful meal I just had.'

Geek Todd Jones strikes out with his 3000th wiman to take over third place on the all time geek strikeout list.

"You've got some beard in your food."

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

Computer Dating.