Dinner Banter Gifts

"What's the Chef's Surprise Sir? Well, he's VERY surprised his kitchen has just survived a visit from the Government Food and Hygiene Inspector!"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Those are insightful and legitimate questions about our country, Tommy, and if times were different, your mom and I probably wouldn't have to report you to the government for asking them!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

Chick in noodle soup.

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

'Today I learned it's hard not to sound condescending when explaining science to a religious person.'

"Oh, I don't eat turkey. One of my spiritual advisers is a turkey."

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."

'One or the other, Mr Yomp, but not both, prayer breakfast OR power lunch!'

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

"Because of the war can we split this?"

"Do you two need a little more time?"

'Mutter mutter...I was talking to my broccoli.'