Dinner Conversation Analyst Gifts

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

The Shakespeares Dine Out.

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

Chick in noodle soup.

'All right, I agree with you.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"Do you two need a little more time?"

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

"Because of the war can we split this?"

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

"You're doing it again, using anthropology to avoid discussing our relationship"

'What are we having for dinner?'

"Why are you surprised we're having leftovers? It's all we ever eat!"

Waiter battles with his customers.

'Before we start, would anyone like any grated cheese on their quarterly report?'

"What's the Chef's Surprise Sir? Well, he's VERY surprised his kitchen has just survived a visit from the Government Food and Hygiene Inspector!"

"Did I tell you that I'm seeing a chiropractor?" "That's great. Is it helping your back?" "Are you kidding, my back is killing me. We see each other every night."

'They were in the lab fooling around, and suddenly Greg found himself in possession of some tiger genes.'