Dinner Conversation Analyst T-Shirts

"You have zero empathy, Carlton. And I can't even begin to imagine what that's like."

"You owe me five bucks."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"Mine says this relationship will never work out and I should dump you right now!"

'Nobody goes there anymore.' 'Because it's too crowded.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

"I think he should cut a deal and invite Paula Jones to join NATO."

'All right, I agree with you.'

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'We were made for each other...we hate the same TV shows.'

"You ordered mammoth again?"

Chick in noodle soup.

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'I wouldn't say you're boring, Chuck, but you're the only person I know who records The Weather Channel.'

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"When you say 'the same', do you mean worse or better?"

"Come on now. It's not that bad. We never even had Paris."

"Don't try to distance yourself from my choice of entrée."

'Forget about National Security for a second... if I'm not home in an hour for dinner, there's going to be some REAL FIREWORKS!'

"Because of the war can we split this?"

"Do you two need a little more time?"

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"

"You're doing it again, using anthropology to avoid discussing our relationship"

'What are we having for dinner?'

"Did I tell you that I'm seeing a chiropractor?" "That's great. Is it helping your back?" "Are you kidding, my back is killing me. We see each other every night."

'They were in the lab fooling around, and suddenly Greg found himself in possession of some tiger genes.'

Waiter battles with his customers.

'Nice guys finish last - is that your philosophy of life or sex?'

"What's the Chef's Surprise Sir? Well, he's VERY surprised his kitchen has just survived a visit from the Government Food and Hygiene Inspector!"

"Why are you surprised we're having leftovers? It's all we ever eat!"

'Before we start, would anyone like any grated cheese on their quarterly report?'