Dining Etiquette Admirer Pillows

'It's marvellous Gordon, how you manage to attract the waiter's attention.'

'you'll have to excuse cousin Vern, he used to be a Lab Rat.'

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Great coffee, Carole."

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'One year of obedience school and he still doesn't know which one is the dessert fork.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"The last doggy bag."

"This time, let's not just fill up on bread."

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

'Gosh, Cindylou, you can't judge a guy solely on how he eats spaghetti!'

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'Well, at least he doesn't beg at the table.'

"Guys, remember, no feeding frenzy: Leave some for Grandpa to chew on..."

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

"What a slobster."

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

"A table for two? Would you like chairs with that, madam?"

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"So you mean to tell me that this business dinner actually involves business?"

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

"You're an herivore, Bob. An herbivore...And start chewing your food."

I'll have a hamburger.

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

'Smoking section, please.'

"Our chef recommends I 'get a haircut and lose the wise-guy attitude.'"

"Do you have any appetizers that are just fun to play with?"