Dining Delight Discoverer T-Shirts

"Would you say the tuna salad kicks ass?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

Platter confusion.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

No, sir, that entr

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"Waiter - there's a fly in my soup."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

Hollywood cafe: celebrity in the house!

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

"Crocuses! It's spring!"

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'I try to watch what I eat, but my eyes aren't always fast enough...'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

Heavenly Take Out

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

The Cheese God

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'