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Brexit Dinner Menu

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Platter confusion.

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"I think what I love most is the smile on her face as she feeds me!"

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

'Greek restaurant?' 'No, menu upside down.'

"The chef recommends the most expensive dish on the menu."

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

'Only the years when the market was bullish...'

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Meditation is too hard. How do you keep one thought in your mind for this long?"

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

"They have a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!"

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'

'I'll be back to take your order as soon as I've eaten.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

'He's busy right now, sweating out a risky trade. Can he call you back?'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

'Today's special is baseball stew, why here it comes now!'

Gone out.Your custard pie's in the oven.

Naughty Food

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."