Dining Deal Seeker T-Shirts

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

Platter confusion.

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

"Don't tell him anything."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"As your attorney, I advise you to assign blame, question motives, attack the media, THEN send your steak back to the kitchen."

"Our sommelier - years of experience in French urinals."

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

'Mine was stone cold.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'